tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-11-07:/Lift the gloom of depression : let it out with the Stepping Stones support groupMokoFeed2009-11-07T23:27:32+01:00tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-10-26:/2009/10/26/i-don-t-know-how-to-get-back-up-7249915/emja692009-10-26T22:52:25+01:002009-10-26T22:52:25+01:00 <p>I'm hoping to get some support.<br> I feel like I'm in a very large hole and am unable to get out, the more I struggle to get out the more the dirt falls on my face, at the moment I can still see some light but its fading and I don't know how Im going to get out or whether its best to just give up and let fate take over.<br> So any ideas.<br> Can anyone help me o find a way out.<br> Emja x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2009/10/26/i-don-t-know-how-to-get-back-up-7249915/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-09-24:/2009/09/24/help-7033642/lookwhostalking8882009-09-24T20:24:54+02:002009-09-24T20:24:54+02:00 <p>I don't know what to do. I am a care assitant for the elderly for the past six years. I began look after my grandmother then while she was dieing . I then fell into this type of work. I loved looking after people and being needed. I had no grandparents left so the client where my family. Still with people dieing who I came to care about like family . It did not help. They also moved on because of health and it broken my heart. <img src="/img/smilies/grayuhoh.gif" alt="U-(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I left my job two months ago because I was burned out needed a change. The thing I do not want to go on unemployeed. I am low on money and need a job. I tried going to a jobcentre and ask carceer counciler for help and all she give me was websites. They are useless. I can be anything for the answers.<img src="/img/smilies/graycry.gif" alt=":`(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I traveled to much as a child and my education is no good so I don't have the school qualiftions. I am doing basic maths and english to improve. What other things could I do with NVQ care and social welfare level that did not involve do that type of work again. <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2009/09/24/help-7033642/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-09-14:/2009/09/14/still-needed-it-seems-6958438/Usksider2009-09-14T05:08:16+02:002009-09-14T05:08:16+02:00 <p>I came very close to closing this blog some months ago; I seemed to have my depression well in hand and there was little or no activity going on here. In retrospect I'm very glad I didn't now... several new members have joined recently and for some reason I haven't yet worked out I have been undergoing some stresses of late and have dipped back into the pit of despair on more than one occasion.</p> <p>I've found in the past it helps me a lot to 'talk' about my feelings and get things out in the open, so here goes...</p> <p>Right off the bat I want to say I'm not feeling suicidally depressed; my medication keeps me away from those depths thank God. I am bloody depressed again though and can't work out why... I recognise the symptoms, but can't find the causes.</p> <p>I'm not sleeping well right now, a sure sign things are not right with my head, and I'm drinking far more than is good for me. I'm eating a lot too... another sign things aren't right... I often become a grazer when I'm down... comfort foods... it's never a good sign. And I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything, so the house looks like a tip and so do I!</p> <p>The really crazy thing is I know what needs to be done... it's not as though I haven't been here before after all... so why in the hell aren't I doing something about it? Sitting in the corner crying sure isn't the answer, but that's the one thing I seem able to do with no effort at all. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2009/09/14/still-needed-it-seems-6958438/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-09-09:/2009/09/09/hi-6929023/lookwhostalking8882009-09-09T10:28:14+02:002009-09-09T10:28:14+02:00 <p>Thanks Alan for welcoming me. </p> <p>I am stressed out. I got a new job after a while looking and there alway something picky going on. You need this or that and I have not even started yet. I hate dealing with things. I keep puting it off hoping it will sort its self out. Maybe I am panicing because its a new job. Its good to get it off your chest put some times when your just about to go to bed it all roles around in your head.</p> <p>I think I will go down to the sea and scream. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2009/09/09/hi-6929023/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-09-06:/2009/09/06/new-kid-on-the-block-6905284/lookwhostalking8882009-09-06T17:36:27+02:002009-09-06T17:36:27+02:00 <p>Its great to find some where to talk about be depressed. </p> <p>I find being a loner hard when your trying to break the loop. The things that happened in my child hood has avicted the way I am around others. I stress out and freak out some times.I start at night worrying what I have said and not being good enough. I can not see the good right know. </p> <p>Its funny I look at the past and see oh that was ment to be fun . At the say time know it was not fun for me where others would have. </p> <p>Any rules about this group . Hello to any one in this group.<img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2009/09/06/new-kid-on-the-block-6905284/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2009-01-14:/2009/01/14/how-to-survive-christmas-5377631/foxhat2009-01-14T19:11:56+01:002009-01-14T19:11:56+01:00 <p>I always find the weeks leading up to Christmas a hard time and am glad when it is over. I enjoy the day and we usually have a good time by going away for a few days afterwards but the period before and for a few weeks after brings out a load of difficult feelings. </p> <p>I am sure others also feel this or something similar. If so what do you feel and what do you do to cope?</p> <p>Alan </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2009/01/14/how-to-survive-christmas-5377631/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-12-22:/2008/12/22/no-wonder-5259454/freeasthewind2008-12-22T14:14:21+01:002008-12-22T14:14:21+01:00 <p><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/356/3086356_b58671c492_m.gif" alt="36_2_58" vspace="5" hspace="5"><br> It is no wonder I am the black sheep of the family. Again I am going to be evicted. And this time the slum lord doesnt have to go to court as it is a week by week rent. I cant get the $150 up. And around here if you live on the streets you go to jail for vagrants. I can't wait I wont have to worry about anything. I can stay away from my family as I am useless to them. My sister and brother dont want me around anyway. I was always told if you treat others good and if you try to the right thing things work out. But that is wrong too. I am going to end up worse off than my mother did. Even though I kept trying. I will work today and then hopefully the feeling in my chest will put me where mom is. I am tired of trying to do right. I think maybe it will be better for everyone if I just lay it down. Sorry if I am bringing anyone down on this crappy christmas. It will not be my favorite holiday ever again. And I doubt if I ever will be the same after all this. I am going on 60 and am tired of trying. Sorry shouldnt bring you all down to. Forget it sorryagai </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/12/22/no-wonder-5259454/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-12-07:/2008/12/07/the-chord-which-strikes-the-soul-5175270/the-living-dead2008-12-07T12:26:52+01:002008-12-07T12:26:52+01:00 <p>there is a piece of music which never fails to deliver you right into the arms of bliss...somehow i feel that music always helps, and to me its rock and roll and metal that help me come out of this dark abyss... its something i can turn to without feeling too ashamed about being interdependent. hmmm...is there something in your life that makes you feel this way too???? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/12/07/the-chord-which-strikes-the-soul-5175270/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-11-23:/2008/11/23/vicious-circles-5091658/husbandorcat2008-11-23T16:25:57+01:002008-11-23T16:25:57+01:00 <p>We’re told (I was told just this morning, as it happens) that low self esteem is often linked with depression.<br> ‘You feel low because your self esteem is low, and your self esteem is low because you feel low’ said my friend.<br> Exactly.<br> But what no one has ever been able to explain to me satisfactorily is how to break out of that vicious circle.<br> If you don’t like yourself, inevitably it makes you feel bad.<br> But when you’re feeling bad anyway, it’s hard to like yourself.<br> The same person also commented on my smile.<br> I know I have a lovely smile. But when I don’t smile, I feel unattractive. And when I feel unattractive, I don’t feel happy.<br> So what is there to smile about?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/11/23/vicious-circles-5091658/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-10-31:/2008/10/31/friday-halloween-4960900/freeasthewind2008-10-31T12:28:02+01:002008-10-31T12:28:02+01:00 <p><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/534/2947534_e040bef9d8_m.gif" alt="withc" vspace="5" hspace="5"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/535/2947535_b0c146bca9_m.jpg" alt="WhyTrickorTreatingisBetterThanSex" vspace="5" hspace="5"><br> Halloween Friday the weather is going to be in the 60's today and High 50's tonight. Kids will be out trick or treating. And I am off for the weekend and I am glad of that. Hope everything is all right with all of you. I am really tired for some reason. Why, I enjoy the walk to work better than the one going home is beyond me. But, maybe I am fresher in the morning than in the afternoon. I intend to catch up with everyone this evening or this weekend. Hope you all have a good weekending Halloween. Watch all that candy </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/10/31/friday-halloween-4960900/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-10-25:/2008/10/25/hi-4927698/husbandorcat2008-10-25T07:44:53+02:002008-10-25T07:44:53+02:00 <p>Just came across this because I was looking for the weekend teaser. Not sure I should be here because I don't have anything positive to offer and all my negative crap is already on my own blog.<br> I think I've reached the point where unhappiness, loneliness and frustration are just a way of life and I don't see that there is any way of fixing that. Medication doesn't work, counselling doesn't work, I've tried it all, this is just how I am. Sometimes I can feel happy and good about life, but it is very hard to hold onto those thoughts.<br> I've been thinking about making a major change in my life, but even if it were feasible, I'm not sure it would really change anything, I would still be the same person with the same problems - and probably a few more too.<br> I don't know how to change who I am inside and that is really where the problem lies.<br> So, like I said, I probably shouldn't be here because I have nothing to offer anyone, too wrapped up in my own self-pity I guess. I dump everything onto my blog because I don't have anyone to share it with in the real world, or rather, because I don't think it's fair to inflict it on the people I could share it with.<br> the irony is that I have something really exciting to look forward to next week, and I know I will have a wonderful time, but I also know it won't last and I will be back in this place again.<br> Thanks for listening, and take care.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/10/25/hi-4927698/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-10-21:/2008/10/21/i-have-this-friend-she-s-pretty-fucked-up-at-4909838/DarkBltch2008-10-21T22:56:15+02:002008-10-21T23:11:07+02:00 <p>I have this "friend", She's pretty fucked up at the moment.<br> She has a husband, an 8yr old daughter, 2 year old twins and a 5 month old baby.<br> She loves them all dearly, Her husband is absolutely amazing, he couldn't be a better husband and father.<br> He is her rock without him she would be dead already..</p> <p>She has a nice home and nice things, She has a life that many would crave for.<br> She is grateful for everything she has and she knows that she should be happy.<br> But that's the problem she isn't happy, She hasn't been happy for a long long time.</p> <p>She doesn't know why she is unhappy, It's just the way it seems it's always been.<br> She isn't cut out for motherhood, She wonders why she was stupid enough to have so<br> many children.<br> Yes she loves them with a love stronger than words can express but she hates them too,<br> She hates the crying and the constant demands.<br> They want more than she feels she can give.<br> Her baby is such a gorgeous bundle of cuteness but he drives her crazy.<br> His cries tear through her heart and make her feel like a failure.<br> He has been really fretful lately, Maybe he is teething...<br> My friend just isn't coping she has dark thoughts,<br> Thought's that scare her, Thought's to awful to write. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/10/21/i-have-this-friend-she-s-pretty-fucked-up-at-4909838/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-09-21:/2008/09/21/threads-4757783/ablogger2008-09-21T14:51:08+02:002008-09-21T21:16:03+02:00 <p>22nd July 1989 was the last time she attempted suicide. It was both a cry for help and a serious attempt. Somehow one got the better of the other. Luckily.</p> <p>She'd recently gotten engaged to a long distance truck driver. They had a lot of fun and were cute with each other ... candle in the window when he was due home, or she was due to arrive etc. They socialised at the local airport bar. They both had friends who drank there already. It was the most sociable she had been since a teenager. Long-awaited fun. Much-deserved fun.</p> <p>A woman befriended her, they got along quite well. She was her shoulder to lean on when the couple argued or there were things to chat over with a buddy.</p> <p>It wasn't long before she discovered this friend was no friend really. The fiancé was no sure thing either. It devastated her. On the brink of trusting the 'institute of marriage' again. All hopes dashed and belief in other humans <em>completely fucked</em>, she decided to take her own life. Alone in a relatively new home, far from close friends and unable to believe that life had dealt her such a cruel blow. Again.</p> <p>Fortunately she has a busy-body sister. Unable to get through on the phone and knowing she was at home, she persevered till at last the phone was answered. </p> <p>The slurred speech, the mumbled and senseless words. She phoned an ambulance. Fortunately, there was no kidney or liver damage. She lived to fight other battles.</p> <p>It didn't affect me at the time. Emotions stunted for various reasons, it swept over my head. Yes I was sympathetic but too young to cope. </p> <p>It didn't hit me till years later, the pain she must have gone through, and thinking about the other friendships that she pushed away - I now understand, partly. Would be nice to go back and be there for her but that's impossible. I will try to learn from it.</p> <p>Many threads indeed. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/09/21/threads-4757783/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-09-10:/2008/09/10/cycles-of-depression-4706969/Usksider2008-09-10T08:47:57+02:002008-09-10T08:47:57+02:00 <p>I have been avoiding Blogland recently and posted a short, friends only piece on my personal blog yesterday to explain my absence. This morning I read a new post here in <strong>Stepping Stones</strong> and for the first time in weeks felt the need to make a comment... </p> <p>Having commented, I now feel the need to scribe an entry of my own...</p> <p>The last three or four weeks have been extremely difficult for me. What I had considered would be a happy time has turned into a period of confusion, upset and frustration… a difficult time that I have failed to understand.</p> <p>The last week in particular has been extremely stressful and I have found myself spending tearfully, sleepless nights. The clock seemed to have been turned back some fifteen months to a time when I was in a very dark place. Self-harm has raised its ugly face again, but thankfully I am in slightly more control now compared to then and I haven't done anything toward ending the black period...</p> <p>I've mentioned previously the cyclic nature of my depression and the continued mood swings. I'm not sure those swings do follow the phases of the moon, but I think I understand the old concept of <em>moon-madness</em>. Some of my <em>down cycles</em> are far more scary than others and equally, some of my <em>up cycles</em> are far more extreme than others... I'm starting to sound like someone suffering from bipolar disorder aren't I? Only I haven't been diagnosed bipolar, just recurrent depressive because of the cycles of mood swings.</p> <p>The medical types say there is no such thing as "cyclic depression" and my condition is better described as "recurrent depression." I'm not sure I fully understand this... my depression is controlled with medication, but it doesn't exactly go away, so why are the mood swings referred to as recurrent and not cyclic? To me recurrent suggests the depression goes away and then reappears... but that's not strictly true. Perhaps because the cycles are not exactly regular so are not true cycles? Beats the hell out of me... <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Anyway, talking to other depressive types over the last year it seems to me many of us go through these recurrent cycles when the world turns upside down and things seem very dark for no apparent reason.<br> (Did you see that? I got both terms in! <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0">) </p> <p>So what am I saying here? Buggered if I know... I seem to have lost the plot again! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I wish I'd appreciated when this all started that beating the whole depression thing wouldn't be as easy as popping a few pills and getting in touch with my inner self; life would be so much easier if that were the case. </p> <p>The good times are okay though and the dark times have generally been not so bad with the aid of medication and some mental self-help (there are always exceptions unfortunately). So yeah, for me depression comes and goes despite the medication; my moods are certainly cyclic. For this reason if no other, I guess you guys should expect times when Usky disappears for a while... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/09/10/cycles-of-depression-4706969/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-09-09:/2008/09/09/losing-the-plot-again-4704243/iccle_caffin2008-09-09T17:01:33+02:002008-09-10T07:21:00+02:00 <p>I'm not sure if I suffer from depression or not. A doctor once told me I had high anxiety levels and borderline depression ten years ago when I first started feeling like this. I have been up and down since then. It's particularly bad over the last few weeks. I came home from a night out with work friends and hacked a strip out of my leg with a key. My boyfriend caught me at it and doesn't know where to put himself. I haven't done anything like that since before I met him. I feel very much out of control of my own life. I scream at my partner for the littlest things and I'm having difficulty in social situations where I'm not in my familiar local, and feel like I don't fit in anywhere. That's part of the reason I dropped out of University for the second time, I didn't really have any friends in class because I was somewhere between the 19yr olds and the 40yr olds and always felt left out especially when there were group projects and I seemed to end up on the sub bench. I barely go out anymore except to go to work. I have no desire to be intimate with my partner, which is causing major friction and I can't seem to be able to tell anyone about this. I have been pretty down before and was ignored by my family who left me to my own devices and offered great advice like 'pull yourself together'. It's really not that simple. Is it? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/09/09/losing-the-plot-again-4704243/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-08-15:/2008/08/15/feeling-helpless-4592170/mumstheword2008-08-15T13:20:54+02:002008-08-16T06:42:04+02:00 <p>I've just realised how hard it is to take a step back and detach myself from a difficult situation. I want to rush in and sort everything out for a loved one but have to sit on the sidelines and watch unable to do or say anything at all.</p> <p>I have to stop looking for reasons or answers and let the professionals help my daughter with her illness.</p> <p>I have just posted this on my own blog:</p> <p><a href="http://keepingmum.blog.co.uk/2008/08/15/a-painful-post-4591650">http://keepingmum.blog.co.uk/2008/08/15/a-painful-post-4591650</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/08/15/feeling-helpless-4592170/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-07-12:/2008/07/12/vow-of-silence-no-just-a-low-level-commu-4437772/Usksider2008-07-12T11:13:57+02:002008-07-12T11:13:57+02:00 <p>One of my many parts is the ability to withdraw into myself and suffer in silence. As a young child I was hit by the polio epidemic in 1955; as a result I suffered a period of isolation seeing no-one except the medical staff looking after my needs. Right or wrong, I’m convinced this episode had a lasting effect on my personality.</p> <p>As well as withdrawing, I sometimes feel the need to stay silent. This is not a case of wanting to be alone, but rather like Greta Garbo I want to be let alone. </p> <p>In this state I find it hard to communicate with others and realise this is hard for those who care for me because it must appear I am ignoring them. In fact I’m not, I just feel I have nothing to say and would rather be quiet... let alone... not pressured.</p> <p>Under normal circumstances I find I can conquer the feeling within a relatively short time and return to more natural levels of communication. More recently I’m finding this harder and harder to achieve. The periods of silence are extending. I’m becoming less and less communicative.</p> <p>People with Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD) are withdrawn and detached from others and appear to be emotionally cold and distant. Damn that sounds just like me, but I have not been diagnosed as suffering from SPD.</p> <p>I’m aware that I display symptoms of both Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD), but likewise haven’t been diagnosed with either of these.</p> <p>Perhaps the psych needs to explore me further...</p> <p>Anyway, I know I’m not alone in this affliction(?) of self-imposed silence and am wondering how others out there cope with their need for minimal communication?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/07/12/vow-of-silence-no-just-a-low-level-commu-4437772/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-07-01:/2008/07/01/weird-dreams-4387525/Usksider2008-07-01T04:13:12+02:002008-07-01T04:13:12+02:00 <p>Do any of you guys have very odd dreams? </p> <p>I don't just mean the everyday strangeness that dreams tend to feature. <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I mean <strong>really </strong>weird dreams... <img src="/img/smilies/icon_crazy.gif" alt=":crazy:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I certainly do and they are always worse when I'm that little extra stressed. </p> <p>I'm convinced my dreams have been very much odder since I started taking medication to fight my depression... and as already mentioned, when something stressful is playing on my mind I can guarantee I'm in for some extra-weird night time experiences.</p> <p>Woke myself up screaming three times last night... probably woke the rest of the household too... I don't remember what I was screaming at though... the general context of the dream was being back at work... anyway, my night ended somewhat prematurely. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_yawn.gif" alt=":yawn:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/07/01/weird-dreams-4387525/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-06-30:/2008/06/30/stress-busting-4385522/Usksider2008-06-30T18:43:44+02:002008-06-30T18:43:44+02:00 <p>We all suffer stress at some time or another... it's a part of modern life these days unfortunately. But added stress in the life of someone suffering from anxiety can be enough to cause some serious damage.</p> <p>Since I first starting suffering from depression I've found myself becoming extremely anxious when stress levels rise. Thankfully I've found a couple of coping strategies that generally work for me. They're not new or particularly clever strategies, but I thought I'd share them in case they can help others.</p> <p><strong>Controlled Breathing</strong></p> <p>You know that feeling when your heart starts hammering and you begin getting all sweaty and your breath comes in short, sharp pants? In case you didn't know, that's anxiety... and you need to control it.</p> <p>Try not to worry about the pounding in your chest; you're not going to have a heart attack and keel over, trust me. The thing to do is to get hold of your breathing.</p> <p>For me this is best done by recognising the situation before things get too advanced and by taking a deep breath.</p> <p>Suck air deep into your lungs and hold your breath while you count slowly to four. Exhale slowly counting to six (slowly) as you blow out.</p> <p>Inhale counting slowly to six as you do, then hold your breath and count slowly to five before exhaling to another slow count of six.</p> <p>Inhale counting slowly to seven as you do, then hold your breath and count slowly to six before exhaling to another slow count of seven.</p> <p>Inhale counting slowly to eight as you do, then hold your breath and count slowly to seven before exhaling to another slow count of eight.</p> <p>I'm sure you get the picture...</p> <p>I keep this up to an inhale/exhale of ten and hold of eleven; the numbers are meaningless really, it's the process of slow breathing with a pause between the inhale and exhale that does the trick.</p> <p>My experience has been that I'm back in control by the count of ten and my heart rate has reduced.</p> <p><strong>Visiting A Relaxing Place</strong></p> <p>The second strategy I use works for me when I'm left waiting in a stressful situation. Again, you all know what this is like... you fidget and fret and more you fret, the worse things seem to become. </p> <p>In this situation I use a calming image and imagine myself at that place. The images I use tend to be by water... the sea, a river or lake, but you need to imagine something that works for you.<br> <br> <a href="javascript:window.open(" title="DSCF5686"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/176/2628176_10c810fa83_m.jpeg" alt="DSCF5686" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a><br> (click to enlarge)<br> <br> This is one of the places that works for me; it's a favourite piece of coast that I have always found quiet and restful.</p> <p>The thing to do is close your eyes and visualise your image in the middle of your head. If you can create it in a black void, so much the better.</p> <p>Breathe slowly while you visualise and try to let your limbs go heavy as you do... concentrate on your image... feel the breeze... hear the birds... or the waves... feel the sunshine...</p> <p>Just let your mind do its stuff and you may be surprised by the results; the mind is an incredible thing.</p> <p>I'm not suggesting these strategies will work for everyone, but they have certainly helped me.</p> <p>There are times however when nothing seems to work... I'm having a stressful week and not sleeping... this has raised my stress levels and nothing I seem to do just now is helping. <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/06/30/stress-busting-4385522/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-06-12:/2008/06/12/a-child-at-heart-4305449/la_spice2008-06-12T10:45:45+02:002008-06-12T11:21:10+02:00 <p><big>Everyone agrees that being a grown up is stressful. </p> <p>How often do you wish you were a child again?</p> <p>I've just come across a very interesting article I'd like to pass on.</p> <p><a href="http://stress.about.com/od/tensiontamers/tp/stressreliefkid.htm"><u>Top 10 Stress Relief Strategies From Your Inner Child</u></a> </big>(click on title)</p> <p><big> Tips include hugs, naps and daydreams - can't be bad!</p> <p>Here's a big blogging hug to be going on with!</p> <p><img src="http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif"> </p> <p></big></p> <p><strong>ps here's another link you might enjoy reading courtesy of <a href="http://upyourbum.blog.co.uk/2008/06/10/40-tips-for-an-exceptional-superb-aamp-p-4297641">netbizguru</a></strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/06/12/a-child-at-heart-4305449/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-06-07:/2008/06/07/getting-better-4283953/wendlane2008-06-07T08:56:23+02:002008-06-07T08:56:23+02:00 <p>Well it has been some time since I posted on my blog -the shop blog has had two posts but I want to keep that seperate. I have been hit hard with depression over the past few weeks, one of the worst boutsI have had and I felt desperate at times. The anti-depressants the doctor prescribed I didn't take, not suggesting that anyone else should not take theirs but I'm tired of pills so I decided against the orders to take them and to 'just get on with it' and although I am still fragile emotionally things are better and I'm getting back on with it. I am always trying to project myself outwards, this time just couldn't. I thank god for my friends who were there for me and my husband even though he doesn't understand from an 'insiders' point of view, he will do the practical things like cook wash up and walk the dog as well as working full time. Lying in bed with the covers over my head wanting the world to go away and crying non stop with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness is how it went, how do you explain that? The past has a big part to play in these feelings. I might write about it one day but reliving it may make things worse,at the same time perhaps it would help, but right now it just makes me feel vulnerable. I also have personal family stresses which Ican't talk about which puts enormous strain on me and my husband. I have a double doctors appointment coming up with a new surgery and am being sent to the hospital for tests, they think it is fybromyalgia as everything points to that in fact they have said it is but it needs to be diagnosed properly. The pain is enough to make anyone depressed apart from anything else. Right now it isn't too bad, always there but bearable. the thing is you never know where you are going to feel the pain one day it will be in my jaw and the next it could be down my entire right side, last week i couldn't walk without a limp because of the pain in my thigh. I look healthy, there are no outward signs and to keep talking about it is a complete bore to everyone around you, living with it is hard, so I hope soon to get some treatment. There is no cure apparently but there are ways of managing the pain. So I will wait and see and hopefuly someone can help me. Meanwhile it is a lovely day so am planning a day out tomorrow, perhaps take a packed lunch and take my camera which has been sadly neglected recently, get the pastels out and paint a picture? i don't know but at least i feel like I am living again. Went and met gtwo mates yesterday for coffee, sat outside in the sun, went and had a browse in the shops, bought a pair of ethnic style flip flops for flip flopping around in the sun and they look very smart only three quid and a towel bale for my son who has just moved into a flat, five pounds! That made me smile<img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/06/07/getting-better-4283953/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-26:/2008/05/26/something-to-think-about-4222210/la_spice2008-05-26T06:21:04+02:002008-05-26T06:21:04+02:00 <p>The Mask I Wear</p> <p>Don't be fooled by me.<br> Don't be fooled by the face I wear<br> For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-<br> masks that I'm afraid to take off<br> and none of them are me.<br> Pretending is an art that's second nature with me<br> but don't be fooled,<br> for God's sake, don't be fooled.<br> I give you the impression that I'm secure<br> That all is sunny and unruffled with me<br> within as well as without,<br> that confidence is my name<br> and coolness my game,<br> that the water's calm<br> and I'm in command,<br> and that I need no one.<br> But don't believe me. Please!</p> <p>My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,<br> My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.<br> Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.<br> Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.<br> But I hide this.<br> I don't want anybody to know it.<br> I panic at the thought of my<br> weaknesses<br> and fear exposing them.<br> That's why I frantically create my masks<br> to hide behind.<br> They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades<br> to help me pretend,<br> To shield me from the glance that<br> knows.<br> But such a glance is precisely my salvation,<br> my only salvation,<br> and I know it.</p> <p>That is, if it's followed by acceptance,<br> and if it's followed by love.<br> It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself<br> from my own self-built prison walls</p> <p>I dislike hiding, honestly<br> I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,<br> the superficial phony game.<br> I'd really like to be genuine and me.<br> But I need your help, your hand to hold<br> Even though my masks would tell you otherwise<br> That glance from you is the only thing that assures me<br> of what I can't assure myself,<br> that I'm really worth something.</p> <p>But I don't tell you this.<br> I don't dare.<br> I'm afraid to.<br> I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh<br> and your laugh would kill me.<br> I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,<br> that I'm just no good<br> and you will see this and reject me.</p> <p>So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game<br> With a facade of assurance without,<br> And a trembling child within.<br> So begins the parade of masks,</p> <p>The glittering but empty parade of masks,<br> and my life becomes a front.<br> I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.<br> I tell you everything that's nothing<br> and nothing of what's everything,<br> of what's crying within me.<br> So when I'm going through my routine<br> do not be fooled by what I'm saying<br> Please listen carefully and try to hear<br> what I'm not saying<br> Hear what I'd like to say<br> but what I can not say.</p> <p>It will not be easy for you,<br> long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.<br> The nearer you approach me<br> the blinder I may strike back.<br> Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;<br> I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.<br> you wonder who I am<br> you shouldn't<br> for I am everyman<br> and everywoman<br> who wears a mask.<br> Don't be fooled by me.<br> At least not by the face I wear.</p> <p>-----author unknown and it has been published in a number of books and on the web.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/26/something-to-think-about-4222210/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-24:/2008/05/24/hugs-for-all-4215542/la_spice2008-05-24T11:38:56+02:002008-05-24T11:38:56+02:00 <p>For everyone who's feeling low and alone! Remember there's always someone here for you.</p> <p><strong>A HUG</p> <p>A hug is something<br> That I want to share<br> A hug is a touch<br> To show that I care<br> A hug is the warmth<br> Of holding you near<br> A hug is to show<br> That you’ve nothing to fear<br> A hug is for giving<br> A hug is for two<br> A hug is something<br> I give freely to you.</strong></p> <p>©Marian Barker </p> <p><img src="http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/24/hugs-for-all-4215542/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-20:/2008/05/20/walking-the-black-dog-4199374/NotBob2008-05-20T19:28:16+02:002008-05-20T19:28:16+02:00 <p>I was watching The One Show this evening, and the first item pricked my ears.<br> It was about how exercise can be theraputic as a treatment for depression, so I tracked down the link:</p> <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/theoneshow/article/2008/05/sj_depression.shtml"><img src="http://kolobok.us/smiles/artists/big/Connie_click-me.gif"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/20/walking-the-black-dog-4199374/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-18:/2008/05/18/why-do-i-do-this-4191768/MissyMouse2008-05-18T23:41:24+02:002008-05-18T23:41:24+02:00 <p>Why is it that I get myself established in something then all of a sudden I retreat into a corner and then disconnect myself from it?? I have friends but once I feel they are getting too close I withdraw. Why!!! </p> <p>I really can't seem to work this one out.</p> <p>Having a down day today. Not sure why to be honest either, I have had a lovely weekend but just feel very stressed and panicy! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/18/why-do-i-do-this-4191768/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-18:/2008/05/18/links-4191291/xmillyxxx2008-05-18T21:25:52+02:002008-05-18T21:25:52+02:00 <p>Hi.</p> <p><a href="http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome">http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome</a></p> <p>I find this very helpful, so thought i would share.</p> <p>xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/18/links-4191291/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-16:/2008/05/16/two-methods-of-coping-with-depression-4181742/wendlane2008-05-16T14:06:47+02:002008-05-16T14:06:47+02:00 <p>Hi just a quick post from me - if anyone has not heard of EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique it is an excellent method of coping with emotional issues and is done with a series of tapping techniques on energy nodes on the body, mainly face chest and hands. I had a couple of sessions and found it very helpful it is a recognised therapy or treatment, the one purported by Paul Mckenna and it can help you with all sorts of things not just depression, lack of confidence, weight loss etc is non invasive and safe. You can buy books to learn to do it yourself and you can go and see a practitioner -about £30.00 for a session. Once you know the routine you go off and do it yourself. My sister was helped enormously with this when she was nursing a broken heart and quite bad depression.</p> <p>Another favourite of mine is Bach Flower remedies, each flower essence is for a different range of emotional issues, anyone who thinks this is wacky, try it, it cured me of serious OCD and if I get the feeling it's returning I buy a bottle of Cherry Plum and I'm fine within hours -this is after years of suffering. OCD is a serious anxiety disorder usually triggered by stress. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/16/two-methods-of-coping-with-depression-4181742/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-15:/2008/05/15/group-grope-anyone-4177882/Usksider2008-05-15T16:20:13+02:002008-05-15T16:20:13+02:00 <p>Have you ever attended a group therapy session? I'm currently in the middle of a series of anxiety management sessions...</p> <p>If you've never been to a group therapy thing, you might have a misguided idea of what goes on... for instance, I had some strange concept that I'd be in a room full of strangers, all looking slightly embarrassed and me on my feet standing up and saying <em>"Hi. My name is John and I'm one of the crazies!"</em></p> <p>The reality of the situation was rather different... more like one of the group sessions as portrayed by <em>'Mad'</em> Jack Nicholson and his fellow actors in <strong><em>One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest</em></strong>. Trust me, if you've never seen that film, rent it... it's brilliant and in many respects closer to the truth than you might believe. </p> <p>So anyway, I always come away from these group sessions feeling as though someone has been messing with my head. As though I've been abused in some way. Like maybe I've had my feelings groped by some raving sex-fiend! </p> <p>Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying all group work is bad, just that my particular group doesn't seem to be working for me. The dynamics of the group are such that the dominant personalities completely overpower the rest, including the leader, so we always end up talking about the same things... </p> <p>Group therapy is supposed to help, but I always leave feeling annoyed, frustrated and knackered... <img src="/img/smilies/icon_crazy.gif" alt=":crazy:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I'd be interested to hear the views of others on the whole group therapy thing. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/group-grope-anyone-4177882/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-14:/2008/05/14/anger-4175255/xmillyxxx2008-05-14T22:42:01+02:002008-05-14T22:42:01+02:00 <p>Had another session with the counsellor today. Had made a promise to myself to hold it together this time,to not cry.</p> <p>All was well, untill he asked how i was coping with my loss, for those of you who don't know, i lost my brother,niece and cousin on march 7th.</p> <p>My tears flowed freely as i explained that i am ashamed that i feel anger towards my brother. How can you miss someone so much, but be so angry at them at the same time?</p> <p>Im angry at him for taking the heart out of my family, angry at him for leaving me, for dying,for putting my mother through so much pain. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to bury your own child. Life will never be the same again, and i know that i can't change things,or is it that im angry at myself for not doing more?</p> <p>The counseller told me that it's normal to be angry when a loved one dies,but it just does'nt feel right. i wish i could grieve normally.</p> <p>I remember walking in to the mortuary with my father to identify 'the body' as they say. Praying that they had made a mistake,and looking at him,lying there,and saying ''What am i going to say to mum?''</p> <p>I went over and over it in my head,looking for the right words to say, i did'nt need them. I walked in,she looked at me, and she just knew. I swear i heard her heart break.</p> <p>I won't go on and bore you, i just felt that by telling you this, you may understand the reason behind my depression, which i will beat.</p> <p>Take care xx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/14/anger-4175255/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:steppingstones.blog.co.uk,2008-05-13:/2008/05/13/i-don-t-know-4170268/xmillyxxx2008-05-13T21:50:19+02:002008-05-13T21:50:19+02:00 <p>... If i can say the things i really want to say here....Can i be that open....i fear being judged for being weak.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://steppingstones.blog.co.uk/2008/05/13/i-don-t-know-4170268/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>