I don't know what to do. I am a care assitant for the elderly for the past six years. I began look after my grandmother then while she was dieing . I then fell into this type of work. I loved looking after people and being needed. I had no grandparents left so the client where my family. Still with people dieing who I came to care about like family . It did not help. They also moved on because of health and it broken my heart.

I left my job two months ago because I was burned out needed a change. The thing I do not want to go on unemployeed. I am low on money and need a job. I tried going to a jobcentre and ask carceer counciler for help and all she give me was websites. They are useless. I can be anything for the answers.

I traveled to much as a child and my education is no good so I don't have the school qualiftions. I am doing basic maths and english to improve. What other things could I do with NVQ care and social welfare level that did not involve do that type of work again.

I came very close to closing this blog some months ago; I seemed to have my depression well in hand and there was little or no activity going on here. In retrospect I'm very glad I didn't now... several new members have joined recently and for some reason I haven't yet worked out I have been undergoing some stresses of late and have dipped back into the pit of despair on more than one occasion.

I've found in the past it helps me a lot to 'talk' about my feelings and get things out in the open, so here goes...

Right off the bat I want to say I'm not feeling suicidally depressed; my medication keeps me away from those depths thank God. I am bloody depressed again though and can't work out why... I recognise the symptoms, but can't find the causes.

I'm not sleeping well right now, a sure sign things are not right with my head, and I'm drinking far more than is good for me. I'm eating a lot too... another sign things aren't right... I often become a grazer when I'm down... comfort foods... it's never a good sign. And I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything, so the house looks like a tip and so do I!

The really crazy thing is I know what needs to be done... it's not as though I haven't been here before after all... so why in the hell aren't I doing something about it? Sitting in the corner crying sure isn't the answer, but that's the one thing I seem able to do with no effort at all.

Thanks Alan for welcoming me.

I am stressed out. I got a new job after a while looking and there alway something picky going on. You need this or that and I have not even started yet. I hate dealing with things. I keep puting it off hoping it will sort its self out. Maybe I am panicing because its a new job. Its good to get it off your chest put some times when your just about to go to bed it all roles around in your head.

I think I will go down to the sea and scream.

Its great to find some where to talk about be depressed.

I find being a loner hard when your trying to break the loop. The things that happened in my child hood has avicted the way I am around others. I stress out and freak out some times.I start at night worrying what I have said and not being good enough. I can not see the good right know.

Its funny I look at the past and see oh that was ment to be fun . At the say time know it was not fun for me where others would have.

Any rules about this group . Hello to any one in this group.