It is no wonder I am the black sheep of the family. Again I am going to be evicted. And this time the slum lord doesnt have to go to court as it is a week by week rent. I cant get the $150 up. And around here if you live on the streets you go to jail for vagrants. I can't wait I wont have to worry about anything. I can stay away from my family as I am useless to them. My sister and brother dont want me around anyway. I was always told if you treat others good and if you try to the right thing things work out. But that is wrong too. I am going to end up worse off than my mother did. Even though I kept trying. I will work today and then hopefully the feeling in my chest will put me where mom is. I am tired of trying to do right. I think maybe it will be better for everyone if I just lay it down. Sorry if I am bringing anyone down on this crappy christmas. It will not be my favorite holiday ever again. And I doubt if I ever will be the same after all this. I am going on 60 and am tired of trying. Sorry shouldnt bring you all down to. Forget it sorryagai

there is a piece of music which never fails to deliver you right into the arms of bliss...somehow i feel that music always helps, and to me its rock and roll and metal that help me come out of this dark abyss... its something i can turn to without feeling too ashamed about being interdependent. hmmm...is there something in your life that makes you feel this way too????