Just came across this because I was looking for the weekend teaser. Not sure I should be here because I don't have anything positive to offer and all my negative crap is already on my own blog.
I think I've reached the point where unhappiness, loneliness and frustration are just a way of life and I don't see that there is any way of fixing that. Medication doesn't work, counselling doesn't work, I've tried it all, this is just how I am. Sometimes I can feel happy and good about life, but it is very hard to hold onto those thoughts.
I've been thinking about making a major change in my life, but even if it were feasible, I'm not sure it would really change anything, I would still be the same person with the same problems - and probably a few more too.
I don't know how to change who I am inside and that is really where the problem lies.
So, like I said, I probably shouldn't be here because I have nothing to offer anyone, too wrapped up in my own self-pity I guess. I dump everything onto my blog because I don't have anyone to share it with in the real world, or rather, because I don't think it's fair to inflict it on the people I could share it with.
the irony is that I have something really exciting to look forward to next week, and I know I will have a wonderful time, but I also know it won't last and I will be back in this place again.
Thanks for listening, and take care.
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wendlane
- http://www.moondustandangels.co.uk
- 29.10.2008 @ 19:20:20
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husbandorcat
- 31.10.2008 @ 20:59:44
Thanks!
You too. -
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- 01.11.2008 @ 16:07:51
I know exactly how you feel, one thing you can be sure of your not alone.
I know the bit about feeling that when the thing you look forward to is over there is nothing. I only go out once a week and when it comes around i have waited so long i hardly think its worth the bother because i must come back again to emptyness and lonliness.
Medication cant change your circumstances and that is what you need,some times we dont feel confident to change anything even if we want to,we doubt ourselves so much,why? usually a deep rooted feeling of rejection that is put upon us as a child and stays with us.
We often try some thing and things go wrong and back to the lonliness we go over and over again and so we get more depressed, and the answer is to keep going until you do find the comfort you are seeking which is some where inside yourself. -
- 17.11.2008 @ 13:24:13
I can identify with most of those feelings .
Martin .-
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husbandorcat
- 17.11.2008 @ 17:11:04
I think many people can.
I suspect many, many more than are prepared to admit it. -
It's very tough when you feel this way- I don't believe it's 'feeling sorry for yourself' it is just how you are feeling and sometimes we can't help how we feel. Try to remember that everything passes including feeling like this..good times come and good times go but we survive and there is always something else to look forward to..take care
x