Feeling Bruised & Broken

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Feeling Bruised & Broken

by rainbowdreams86 ^Pro @ 16.05.2008 – 23:14:08

i don't even know if this is depression. I'm too scared to look up what counts as depression in case it does. If it doesn't then sorry for being in the wrong place.

My life is great, i love my job, my boyf treats me great, i travel a lot and have great friends. So why can't i be happy? Even when things go great, within minutes i start thinking about what could happen to ruin it. I find myself sitting there and my mind drifts onto different ways to kill myself. I fantasise about it over & over again. But i know i would never do it.I want to cry, to break down & hide away from everything. For everything to be over. I feel like i have no-one to talk to, nobody cares
But then other times i feel so happy. Like nothing can get me down. Like everythink is going to be just fine and i have the most perfect life!

Whats wrong with me?! Why do i feel like this?!
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16 Comments on Feeling Bruised & Broken

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- Ryan407
- 16.05.2008 @ 23:23:39
Maybe your scared that your life is going too well and therefore something bad is round the corner? This leads you into dark thoughts and things go round and round in your head until you feel horrible.
Or perhaps you feel like this because your used to living life at such a high, what i mean is that your constantly doing things you love and enjoy , however I'm guessing there are times that you sit in your house and do absolutely nothing and it is times like these when you feel bad and if this is the case I'd say that because your used to such an enjoyable life, anything that would be seen as average to most people (e.g a night home alone) might seem like a horrible experience for you. This experience might get you down and then cause you to feel the way you do.
Regardless of what causes it, I don't believe there's anything wrong with you,I'm sure its not uncommon for people to think about such things.
I hope you feel better

Ryan
- - Esspee ^Pro
  - 16.05.2008 @ 23:28:06
  What he said!!!!
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- - rainbowdreams86 ^Pro
  - 16.05.2008 @ 23:33:18
  I think the first bit mite be right, but i wish it DID only happen at times like that. unfortunately it doesnt
  
  Thanks for being so nice tho x
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- NotBob
- 16.05.2008 @ 23:29:18
Well, it sounds similar to my experience. The wild mood swings, sometimes scarily rapid, the suicidal thoughts and the feeling that nobody cares.

I haven't yet been to see anyone about it, but Usky reckons that it sounds like I'm in the frame for it, so all I can say to you is the same as he said to me, and that is to advise you to have a chat with your GP. It could be nothing, but chatting with us, and seeking proper medical assistance should help you, I hope

Just remember that you //do// have someone to talk to here, even if what you want to say sounds stupid to you, we care and we'll understand.

Take care.
- - rainbowdreams86 ^Pro
  - 16.05.2008 @ 23:35:14
  Im too scared to speak to someone about it :S
  
  Thank you tho.... it helps to know theres someone out there i can talk to an be myself with.
  
  And the same to you xx
  - - moonwoman
    - http://www.wisewomenspirituality.com
    - 20.05.2008 @ 11:49:53
    Hi rainbowdreams. Frequently it is related to hormones especially when we have a genetic predisposition to it. However, if you have strong Pluto transits to your birth chart, it forces us to look at the dark side of life and ask the "what if" questions. When you find yourself doing that use a huge "stop" sign in your thoughts and force yourself to emotionally travel down a different road.
    
    Please see my post yesterday on the Full Moon in Scorpio effects!
    
    Thank God for people in blogland where we feel safe to relate what is truly going on in our hearts! No my dear, you are not crazy, you are going through a difficult transit in your chart!
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- NotBob
- 16.05.2008 @ 23:40:22
Don't worry, I'm too scared to see my GP, too. I have a feeling I should have seen to him years ago, but I still haven't plucked up the nerve.
- - NotBob
  - 16.05.2008 @ 23:41:25
  That should be "seen him", not "seen //to// him"
  - - rainbowdreams86 ^Pro
    - 16.05.2008 @ 23:47:53
    hehe its ok, i knew what you meant ;-)
    
    i really think im scared in case he says there IS something wrong with me
    - - NotBob
      - 16.05.2008 @ 23:55:46
      But if there is nothing wrong wouldn't you like to have it confirmed, or even if something is wrong, would you not prefer to do something to put it right?
      
      Maybe I should listen to my advice too, eh?
      - rainbowdreams86 ^Pro
        
        17.05.2008 @ 00:02:42
        
        i dunno....maybe.... i think if they said theres nothin wrong then id feel worse for not knowing WHY im like this.
        lol yeah, methinks you should hun!!
        
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        wendlane ^Pro
        
        17.05.2008 @ 11:30:47
        
        Could it be hormonal? Do you suffer with PMT if this is intermitent with no obvious cause it could possibly be. This is underestimated in my opinion. Your doctor will help and also take a look at your cycles and see if there is a connection. There are lots of ways of coping and relieving PMT. Diet is a big help. If you speak to the doctor you will be able to talk about this and find out if it is PMT and if not get help either way.
        
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- MissyMouse
- 17.05.2008 @ 00:53:47
Bot sure if this is right or wrong but I look at it this way....if you know what's wrong then you can get on with getting the correct treatment and getting rid of it once and for all or at least learning how to cope with it. Otherwise you will go on and on feeling as you do everyday. To me, the not knowing is the worse thing.

You deserve to feel better!
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- shakeberry
- 17.05.2008 @ 10:05:11
Hey

It takes time to want to open up, it took me 16 years, then on top of that a further 3 years to let them diagnose me properly due to fear. I would listen to the advice given here, get as much support as you can, and remember that no matter what things can be dealt with, and people care
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- xmillyxxx ^Pro
- 18.05.2008 @ 21:15:09
Hun, there is nothing wrong with you,it's your emotions 'playing up' ...mine does it all the time. We are all ,or have been depressed at points in our lives, and some of us still don't know why!!

Im here if you wanna chat or rant...i know what ya going through. And don't be scared to ask ya doc, it's what they are there for
((hugs)) xx
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- moonwoman
- http://www.wisewomenspirituality.com
- 20.05.2008 @ 11:57:31
Psychologically many women feel like imposters who don't "deserve" the good things in their lives. I think I'll do an article on this tomorrow since this full Moon cycle in Scorpio is just going to give us a more difficult emotional time for the next 28 days. Hang in there honey. You do deserve the best. Write that on a recipe card and say the affirmation minimum of 10 times a day.
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