I'm hoping to get some support.
I feel like I'm in a very large hole and am unable to get out, the more I struggle to get out the more the dirt falls on my face, at the moment I can still see some light but its fading and I don't know how Im going to get out or whether its best to just give up and let fate take over.
So any ideas.
Can anyone help me o find a way out.
Emja x

I don't know what to do. I am a care assitant for the elderly for the past six years. I began look after my grandmother then while she was dieing . I then fell into this type of work. I loved looking after people and being needed. I had no grandparents left so the client where my family. Still with people dieing who I came to care about like family . It did not help. They also moved on because of health and it broken my heart.

I left my job two months ago because I was burned out needed a change. The thing I do not want to go on unemployeed. I am low on money and need a job. I tried going to a jobcentre and ask carceer counciler for help and all she give me was websites. They are useless. I can be anything for the answers.

I traveled to much as a child and my education is no good so I don't have the school qualiftions. I am doing basic maths and english to improve. What other things could I do with NVQ care and social welfare level that did not involve do that type of work again.

I came very close to closing this blog some months ago; I seemed to have my depression well in hand and there was little or no activity going on here. In retrospect I'm very glad I didn't now... several new members have joined recently and for some reason I haven't yet worked out I have been undergoing some stresses of late and have dipped back into the pit of despair on more than one occasion.

I've found in the past it helps me a lot to 'talk' about my feelings and get things out in the open, so here goes...

Right off the bat I want to say I'm not feeling suicidally depressed; my medication keeps me away from those depths thank God. I am bloody depressed again though and can't work out why... I recognise the symptoms, but can't find the causes.

I'm not sleeping well right now, a sure sign things are not right with my head, and I'm drinking far more than is good for me. I'm eating a lot too... another sign things aren't right... I often become a grazer when I'm down... comfort foods... it's never a good sign. And I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything, so the house looks like a tip and so do I!

The really crazy thing is I know what needs to be done... it's not as though I haven't been here before after all... so why in the hell aren't I doing something about it? Sitting in the corner crying sure isn't the answer, but that's the one thing I seem able to do with no effort at all.

Thanks Alan for welcoming me.

I am stressed out. I got a new job after a while looking and there alway something picky going on. You need this or that and I have not even started yet. I hate dealing with things. I keep puting it off hoping it will sort its self out. Maybe I am panicing because its a new job. Its good to get it off your chest put some times when your just about to go to bed it all roles around in your head.

I think I will go down to the sea and scream.

Its great to find some where to talk about be depressed.

I find being a loner hard when your trying to break the loop. The things that happened in my child hood has avicted the way I am around others. I stress out and freak out some times.I start at night worrying what I have said and not being good enough. I can not see the good right know.

Its funny I look at the past and see oh that was ment to be fun . At the say time know it was not fun for me where others would have.

Any rules about this group . Hello to any one in this group.

I always find the weeks leading up to Christmas a hard time and am glad when it is over. I enjoy the day and we usually have a good time by going away for a few days afterwards but the period before and for a few weeks after brings out a load of difficult feelings.

I am sure others also feel this or something similar. If so what do you feel and what do you do to cope?

Alan

It is no wonder I am the black sheep of the family. Again I am going to be evicted. And this time the slum lord doesnt have to go to court as it is a week by week rent. I cant get the $150 up. And around here if you live on the streets you go to jail for vagrants. I can't wait I wont have to worry about anything. I can stay away from my family as I am useless to them. My sister and brother dont want me around anyway. I was always told if you treat others good and if you try to the right thing things work out. But that is wrong too. I am going to end up worse off than my mother did. Even though I kept trying. I will work today and then hopefully the feeling in my chest will put me where mom is. I am tired of trying to do right. I think maybe it will be better for everyone if I just lay it down. Sorry if I am bringing anyone down on this crappy christmas. It will not be my favorite holiday ever again. And I doubt if I ever will be the same after all this. I am going on 60 and am tired of trying. Sorry shouldnt bring you all down to. Forget it sorryagai

there is a piece of music which never fails to deliver you right into the arms of bliss...somehow i feel that music always helps, and to me its rock and roll and metal that help me come out of this dark abyss... its something i can turn to without feeling too ashamed about being interdependent. hmmm...is there something in your life that makes you feel this way too????

We’re told (I was told just this morning, as it happens) that low self esteem is often linked with depression.
‘You feel low because your self esteem is low, and your self esteem is low because you feel low’ said my friend.
Exactly.
But what no one has ever been able to explain to me satisfactorily is how to break out of that vicious circle.
If you don’t like yourself, inevitably it makes you feel bad.
But when you’re feeling bad anyway, it’s hard to like yourself.
The same person also commented on my smile.
I know I have a lovely smile. But when I don’t smile, I feel unattractive. And when I feel unattractive, I don’t feel happy.
So what is there to smile about?